(AP) In the interest of the preservation of our valuable cultural heritage, the Library of Congress has mandated that all books in all formats including hardcover, paperback, and eBooks must from this day forward also be submitted to the library as Illuminated Vellum Codices. It has been proven that Medieval manuscripts survive longer than all other types of books, cd’s, electronic books, and ibooks. In addition. we can no longer risk losing valuable twitter feeds and inter-office email and these must also be reformatted as vellum codices. An exceptional bonus to the economy will be the employment of thousands of art history and English majors in a project that will rival the Moon Landing.